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Okay, well I realized that it's just when I'm UB that I'm depressed; because now that I'm back in Springfield, with everyone else, I'm normal. I can be myself. And not worry about what other people think. I'm so happy about that, too. Even though I despise Springfield--I love it because I'm so comfortable with myself and the people around me. It really is great.



Plus--I'm gunna tell you guys something that you have to keep a secret, okay? I hung out with someone today. I haven't told you guys about the 'Em & Dana' story; so I'm going to. Well, I was hanging out with this really extremely fantastic chick named Em. She's really kickass. And I sorda accidentally ruined our friendship... And to be completely honest with you, right now, at this very moment, I'm making it worse. Whether she knows it yet or not. But anyway--I was hanging out with her and this guy named Dana. Apparently I was flirting really bad with Dana (not knowing) and Em was getting mad because she likes him. Which I had no idea in the first place. So she kinda got mad at me and I guess she thinks I stole Dana away from her. I wasn't trying. I'm not trying. I didn't know. What am I supposed to do about it?

Well--I apologized to Em for like flirting with Dana and I told her I didn't realize it (because I didn't) So yeah, she got all upset because of that whole situation. Dana told Em to give me his number--and she did. But I never called it. I thought it'd ruin Em and I's friendship. I didn't want to risk it. But then--I added him on Facebook and he got my number and we just started talking. You guys are going to think I'm horrible for this, but I'm gunna tell you anyway. Mainly because I need to let it out.

I've been talking to Dana, yes. On Saturday--he came to Springfield because his aunt lives here and ...we made plans to hang out. Which we did... I met up with him downtown and something sorda happened. We ended up kissing. But the funny part is; after he kissed me, I got butterflies... For the first time EVER with a guy. And I even ran into a pole. I was so distracted. It was weird because that had never happened to me before. I didn't know how to react. But here's the thing--I'm really attracted to this kid. Really. And I'm confused. I'm confused about what I should do about this whole situation. For one thing--Em will be really upset and probably never want to talk to me again. Second; I feel like a complete whore because ..Manoli is in Greece (today/yesterday, August 2, was our 7 month) and we never technically broke up. Oh did I tell you he's planning on moving back. :O! Yeah. So back to my story. I also feel like a whore because ..Elloit. We have a thing, but we don't. I like to hang out with him. And sometimes--yes, it is more than just hanging out. Then there's Cody Vandenburgh--don't even get me started :/ And now Dana. But out of Elliot (who I probably won't see after UB ends), Cody (who I will see every single day when school starts), and Dana (who I could be seeing every weekend, if things work out); I would probably choose Dana over them because:

Well, we have quite a bit in common, I like talking to him, he's super nice & romantic & amazing, and ETC ETC, I'm really comfortable around him, he's like me-in a few ways, he's clingy (which I like), he plays guitar, he plays drums, he sings, he boxes, he's attractive, blah blah blah. I could just go on and on--but I'm sure you're annoyed. I would be.

Ugh--I'm too depressed to go on. I really just can't even finish this right now >.<>.<